2018 was an extraordinary year for us as we launched The 2 Pillars Project at the beginning of this year and our Secret Santa was a great ending for the year. This has really changed our perceptions of those who are serving time in our prisons and it’s changed our hearts. As we’ve learned the stories of some of these women and opened our hearts to them, ignorance has been replaced by understanding and judgment replaced with compassion. I believe in the rule of law and while it’s just and fair that they’re paying a price for their mistakes, the Christmas holiday is an important annual reminder of the One who paid the ultimate price for the mistakes of all of us. He asks only for a broken heart and a contrite spirit and He will forgive those mistakes and even turn them to our good. For those who have turned their hearts to Him in overcoming the weaknesses that lead them here, we have seen prison become a powerful catalyst for permanent change and revealed some good hearts that simply lost their way. Combining their own resolve to put those mistakes in the past, the encouragement of a friend/mentor and the power of the Atonement of Christ has helped turn some of these women into the pillars of strength we believed they could be. For me, personally, this has been the greatest Christmas gift imaginable.
Our Secret Santa program was really a wonderful conclusion to an already extraordinary year. Sabrina decided to try and do something for the truly indigent women inside the prison with the concern that no one should be alone without a single gift on Christmas. The stories of so many of these women are already heart-breaking but being in prison with none of the traditions of Christmas we enjoy over the holiday is rough. It’s tough, even for those inside who DO have the benefit of family or friends who will at least provide some sort of greeting or even gifts but the idea of having no-one was just unthinkable for her. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints does an annual “Light the World” campaign during the Christmas season which is heavily focused on service and love to others as we commemorate the birth of the Savior, Jesus Christ. December 1st was designated as an international day of service and the day we began our Secret Santa project. Sabrina set out to make a list of those women she is aware of who are indigent (no outside family or financial support). She then put together a list of items they can get from the prison store that will make a nice gift for these women. In their situation, just commodities like toiletries and snacks were greatly appreciated, not to mention having someone who cared enough to actually provide a gift, however simple.
This started out as something our family was going to do together but as we discussed it with others, there was tremendous interest in participating and we are certainly not going to deprive them of such an opportunity to serve someone so much in need. There is a long list of restrictions and requirements regarding mailing things to the prison so you can’t just knit some mittens and send something like that (or most other gifts) to the inmates. To me, the idea of giving money or gift cards for Christmas is too impersonal for me to enjoy giving those kinds of gifts, but with the mailing restrictions, it is the only way permitted to provide gifts to these women. We posted money on Sabrina’s trust account and she purchased the items she chose for these gift baskets from the prison commissary. We’ve had numerous friends from our church contribute to the cause so Sabrina was able to do some serious shopping on the prison store. The original list included things like Shampoo, Conditioner, Chapstick, Razors, Cookies, Chic-O-Stick, Nail Clippers, Cheese, Soup, Crackers, Candy, Soap and Ramen Noodles (One of the most coveted things you can get your hands on in prison). She was able to adda few more things with the outside support.
It’s not just our friends on the outside but many of “the girls” on the inside jumped in and really loved this project. The ones who have family and financial support helped to buy some of the originally planned gift items and even expanded that list as well. Some of the women helped to build actual gift baskets using a thing they do there where they rip strips of paper and roll them into long cords they can “weave” together into a basket.
Prison regulations make such spontaneity difficult because just delivering the baskets secretly presents some challenges. Going into someone else’s cell without their permission can get you in serious trouble so they recruited the cellmates of the intended recipients to deliver the baskets. The recipients were not told who the gifts came from but some of them figured it out and there was actually quite a buzz going through the prison among inmates as well as prison staff.
This is one of those things that reminds me of the story I’ve heard numerous times about a young man who observed an older man walking on the beach after a storm picking up starfish and throwing them back into the ocean. The young man questioned the old man with the assertion that with so many starfish on the beach how could he possibly hope to make a difference. The old man bent to pick up a starfish and as he tossed it back into the ocean he said, “Made a difference to that one”. The 20 or so women we were able to help with the contributions received is only a drop in the bucket from a thousand or so women, just on Sabrina’s yard, but it’s still a great feeling to know “we helped that one”. Sabrina had to rely mostly on accounts from prison staff and cellmates that delivered the packages but was delighted to hear about the tears of joy and near shock at the idea that a complete stranger, in prison would do something like this. Even though she couldn’t be a witness as most of these packages were opened, she knew who they went to and was able to observe these women later on the yard with a change in their countenance that spoke volumes even though they could not verbally express gratitude to their unknown benefactors. Sabrina really wished she could have helped more girls but even for those who received nothing, the story of the activity brought a warmth and light completely unexpected in an otherwise dark and dreary place. For the residents here, a belief in Santa Claus was a distant memory and belief in such a gesture was non-existent. There were many who previously had little scope for belief in much of anything, much less Santa Claus but for one day their belief was rekindled by something much better and something that was real.
Sabrina has made many friends and the women get transferred between the various yards and my wife Cindy regularly corresponds with many of these women even though they are no longer on the same yard with Sabrina. The beautifully crafted cards she sends “her girls” are a treasured gift to each of these women every week but when she shared Sabrina’s plans for the Secret Santa in her letters to them, they set to work on doing their own version on their current yard(s). Tiffany, who is one of the women we are very close to and a good friend of Sabrina’s was so excited about it and could hardly wait to start. Due to the short time we had between the start of this project and Christmas and the fact that we can only correspond by mail, she was only able to help a small number on her yard but due to the generosity of our friends at church, we were able to provide her with the funds she needed to help those she had chosen to serve. She could have easily qualified as a recipient herself because of no outside support from her family but she set out to bless those who had it even tougher. When the Savior reflects on her gifts given in His name, I am sure this will be ranked with His parable of the widow’s mite given in the temple treasury. I have no doubt He loves her even more than we can. She involved others in the project as well and in a letter to us said that it brought a quiet change to those on the yard. I don’t recall if it was Tiffany or one of our girls on another yard who said she even happened upon women kneeling in their quarters praying, which was something you just don’t normally see. Tiffany sent us such a nice letter about her experience, following her usual salutation in her letters to us of “Dear Mom & Dad”. Let me quote part of that letter here:
Christina LOVED her bag! I was hiding in the bay watching her open it. It was amazing. She bugged her bunky all day long trying to find out where it came from. Her bunky just kept telling her, “I don’t know, a little elf maybe, stop asking me.” Ha, Ha! I gave one of the bags to one of the program girls who didn’t have anything. She was so grateful. It made me feel so good inside to watch these girls open them and see their faces. Thank you so much for helping me to experience that, it was amazing!
Love, Tiffany
One of Sabrina’s “neighbors” on the yard sent a card to my wife, thanking her for the cards she had sent her and added the following comment:
Sabrina did all the Christmas bags for the girls here… that touched me. It’s rare to find human kindness in this place. I feel blessed to have her next door to me. She’s a good kid.
For me, the ultimate gift was to see the light in my daughters’ eyes, for the first time in a long time. When we visited Sabrina, as she was in the midst of organizing the project and acquiring the simple gifts she would give these women, the change in her countenance really struck me as she met us in the visitation area. She was not just engaged in bringing the true Spirit of Christmas to women who needed it, but was literally wearing it, herself.
We are really looking to the new year and hoping to build new ways to help the women we have found who want to find a better future. We’re slowly and carefully building a list of those who are ready for a meaningful change in their lives, a change that puts their mistakes in the past and God in their future as the surest path to success. If you’d like to be part of that, please go to our mentor sign-up page register an interest in being a mentor,